The internet can’t tell you how to feel, but it will sure try! Years ago, when I first found the sprawling online communities of people affected by autism, my head spun. I was behind on research, I realized. I hadn’t read the books, and I hadn’t yet formed the opinions. The battle lines were already drawn. There was controversy about things I’d only just heard of. There were tribes grasping at my wrists, trying to pull me over to their side. 

Some of those struggles were, and are, worthwhile fights. Some of them were about science and behavior and the merits of various therapies. They are necessary discussions that can sometimes get heated. 

Other fights were, frankly, ludicrous, especially the squabble over how I was supposed to feel. Was my son’s diagnosis supposed to make me sad or happy? Was I supposed despair about his future, or was I supposed to rejoice with delight?

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