A couple of years ago, a pastor friend shared a personal reflection about how God showed up in his life in a truly remarkable way. It was many years ago when his family was still young, including his special needs daughter. Although he had trained to be a pastor, he felt it was not enough to support his family, and he made a choice to enter the business world. While he experienced some early success, he reached a point where several deals fell through, and he was on the verge of financial ruin. One night, he recounts how the mortgage payment was not going to be paid, and he and his wife found themselves on their knees praying to God for rescue. Just as they were getting down to pray, they received a phone call from his mother-in-law. She told them that she didn’t understand why, but God had put it on her heart to call and offer to pay their mortgage that month. It seems almost impossible, but not only did they find a way to cover the mortgage, they also started a side business as a family that became successful overnight, and it allowed him to return to pastorship full time. He then heard the words that stuck with him years later, “I take care of you.”
Reflecting on the nature of this story in the days that followed, I considered my own circumstances. I thought about the daily challenges that I had as a special needs parent, more specifically a divorced, single special needs parent. I looked at my own struggles in recent weeks and months, trying to not only take care of my son, but also manage my mother’s decision making as she was now living in a memory care facility. I also experienced financial difficulties, as I had lost a job in education prior to my current role in ministry and was struggling to catch up with on paying my bills. Thinking back to the pastor’s story, and how they were able to navigate life with similar challenges, including raising their own special needs daughter, I began to wonder…is it possible to ask God for such a miracle? On the one hand, my situation might not have been as desperate as that pastor’s had been. On the other, I could very much relate to feeling like I didn’t have a lot of choices. Whatever it might have looked like, it certainly felt like I was placed in a corner, and I needed a divine rescue.
A couple of weeks after that initial conversation, I met with an old friend who led a Men’s Bible study that I previously attended. I had spoken to him on the phone prior to our meeting, and got him caught up on some of the things I had been struggling with. When we met for coffee on a weekday morning, I shared everything in more detail, but emphasized that I had a positive outlook on things. My friend listened attentively, asking questions and being supportive. He then shared a story that I had not heard previously, but one that was very significant for me.
When I first met my friend over ten years ago, he was dealing with a very similar experience to me. He had lost his job, and struggled for years to get back on his feet and get into a job that supported him and his family. While several things were different in his case; he never lost his marriage and was not a special needs parent, I still vividly remember how much he struggled to maintain his identity as a husband and father. He then told me about an elderly gentleman from his church that he would see every week after service. The person would greet my friend at the end of the service, ask how he was doing and generally check in with him. What was unique about the interaction was that the man would always shake my friend’s hand at the end, and in his hand every time, would be $200. I sat there in mild surprise, saying to my friend that it sounded pretty amazing. He nodded in subtle agreement. Then he extended his hand to me, and said, “Now I want to shake your hand,” and in it, was $200.
I took his hand and accepted the cash that he slid into my palm. I was speechless. Here was a guy who I knew had struggled financially for years, knew how sensitive his circumstances were for him, including all of the men’s events or meals out with church brothers that someone inevitably picked up for him. Now he was living out his faith, as he identified a brother in need, and learned from what someone else had done for him. He lived that out again, this time he was offering the helping hand. All I could do was thank him with tears in my eyes, to which he replied, “Go take Chris out for a fun dinner maybe.” I thought that was the least I could do to honor his generosity.
Driving home that morning, I thought about how interesting the timing was of that interaction, since I had just had the conversation with my pastor friend about his answered prayer. I was in a fair bit of shock, but also a quiet calm and relief came over me. I pulled into my parking spot and stepped out of my car in front of a black iron fence that surrounded my apartment complex. I stared directly at a hedge that was on the other side of the fence, and on that hedge a large dragonfly landed right where I had been looking.
Many years ago, a family friend mentioned how God sometimes communicates to us in unique ways, including through the animal world. Remembering this, I continued to look straight at the dragonfly and asked it in a low but audible voice, “What message do you have for me?” No sooner did I ask this question than the dragonfly turned its head and looked straight at me, with its two large bug eyes, and locked gaze with me. In my mind I clearly heard the words,…”I take care of you.”
Image from @hoch3media on Unsplash
I put my hand on the car and braced myself. I couldn’t believe what I had heard, but most of all what I had experienced. It was not only witnessing the hand of God work in the lives of people I knew, but then seeing that hand come through into my own life. While my life steadily leveled itself out, I felt His presence, and was convinced He was working in my life everyday. My child continued to have autism and struggle in his daily life, my finances weren’t totally fixed, I had to still balance all of the other family responsibilities, but I was told exactly what I needed to hear to keep going. And now, I extend a hand out to the person reading this now, and remind you, He takes care of you.
John Fela (Felageller) is the Ministry Relations Manager at Joni and Friends Chicago, working with churches to equip and train them to help the disabled in their communities. Previous to that, he spent almost 20 years in education, working with children from Infants to Middle School, serving in a variety of roles including Teacher, Mentor Teacher and School Director. John lives in Lyons, IL, is married and father to his son Christopher (ASD). He is a public speaker, multiple podcast guest, and regular contributor to Key Ministry’s Special Needs Family blog, as well as other special needs blogs including Hope Anew and The Mighty. Connect with John on his website: www.johnfelageller.com
Source: Special Needs Parenting- Key Ministry
