A few years ago, I made a change in the way I interact with my children. It’s a small practice, but it has profoundly helped our family understand and grasp the truth that God loves and delights in us. Every single day, I tell my kids, “I love being your mom.” This intentional habit has transformed not just my relationship with my children but also how I relate to God.
Struggling to Feel God’s Love and Delight
When I became a Christian in my early 20s, I had a hard time with the concept of God as a Father who delights in me, especially when held against the way I’d thought of God for so long: an abstraction, an old man in the clouds. I wondered if my cultural background played a role. As a second-generation Indian, love in my family was usually expressed through actions rather than words. My parents’ care came through gestures like offering freshly cut fruit while I worked or staying up late to help with a project, even when their own schedules were packed.
While these acts made their love clear, the emotional intimacy often described by my peers or even in devotionals felt foreign. Even as an emotionally expressive person, I found it challenging to internalize the Lord’s affection for me.
Later, when I was diagnosed as autistic, I started reflecting on how much this much have affected my perception of relationships, including my relationship with God. How could I help my own autistic children—who also experience the world differently—understand the vast and personal love of God? I pray often that I will continue to understand God’s love so I can pass it on to my children.
Image from @thiiagocerqueira on Unsplash
A Small Experiment
A few years ago, I tried shifting how I approached our mornings, often a challenging time in our family. Rather than starting with a to-do list, I began intentionally expressing delight. Instead of saying, “We need to get dressed, eat, and brush teeth,” I greeted my kids with warmth and presence: “Oh, I’m so happy to see you. How did you sleep? I love being your mom.”
For my child with PDA (pathological demand avoidance), this phrasing made a big difference. Saying, “I love you,” can sometimes feel like a demand to respond in kind, which can cause stress. But when I said, “I love being your mom,” it felt lighter—just me sharing something about myself with no expectation of reciprocation.
Sometimes there was no response. But nearly two years in, after our usual bedtime routine, my son surprised me. After I said, “I love being your mom,” he snuggled close and smiled. “And I love being your son.” He says it more often now, but I choose not to expect it. The affection between us is real, whether or not he puts it into words.
What This Taught Me About God
This small habit didn’t just change how I relate to my kids. It’s also reshaped how I see God. When I tell my children, “I love being your mom,” I see glimpses of God’s posture toward me. Just as I delight in them, God delights in us—not because of what we do but because of who we are.
Zephaniah 3:17 tells us, “He will take great delight in you; in His love, He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” This truth has transformed my prayer life, too. Saying “Our Father” in the Lord’s Prayer feels more personal now, I understand He is a Father who rejoices over me simply because I am His.
Psalm 103:13 reminds us, “As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.”
Reflecting God’s Love in Parenting
Parenting is messy and imperfect, and it feels uniquely complex as a neurodivergent mom of neurodivergent kids. But even in my imperfections, I hope I’m giving my children a small glimpse of the infinite, eternal affection God has for them. When I say, “I love being your mom,” I want them to know it’s not tied to accomplishments or behavior. After all, isn’t that what God’s love is like? Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
I pray that this foundation helps my kids trust in God’s love more easily as they grow. When they hear that God delights in them, I want it to feel familiar, like something they’ve always known deep in their hearts. By showing my children glimpses of this love—even in small, imperfect ways—I hope to point them to the One whose delight in them is limitless.
Sunita Theiss is an Indian American poet and writer in Georgia. Following her children’s diagnoses, she pursued and received autism and ADHD diagnoses herself. After more than a decade working in marketing and communications, Sunita has intentionally made a downshift in her career, which allows her the flexibility and freedom to be more hands-on with her family and homeschool her children. Her writing has been featured in Christianity Today, In Touch, Business Insider’s Parenting section, and more. You can read more of her work at sunitatheiss.com.
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Source: Special Needs Parenting- Key Ministry
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