As believers, we seek divine wisdom to understand the unique ways our loved ones process the world around them. Here are insights about perseveration, a pattern of thinking we learned about along the way. Our son experiences perseveration because he was exposed to alcohol prenatally. His mind can become fixated on certain thoughts or activities, creating challenges that impact him and us as parents.
In our family’s journey, we’ve learned valuable lessons about patience related to a word that was not previously in our vocabulary. When our son was in junior high school, we made an innocent mistake of letting him know about fishing trips we had planned a few weeks in advance. Our son was a mess just thinking about something coming up—perseverating on the trip. He struggled to eat or sleep (and sleep was already an issue). His school assignments did not get done, and his meal schedule went out the window.
Image from Clark Young on Unpslash.
So we started letting him know about fishing trips the day we planned to go.
When he got his first job after high school, he was up at 8 AM and was dressed in his uniform, ready to go to his shift for the first day, which started at 5 PM. We offered breakfast, but he said, “I’m not hungry,” and didn’t eat all day. About two hours later, he took a nap. Then, he was ready to go again at 2 PM.
There were plenty of times his perseveration turned ugly, especially regarding technology. Our biggest shift came when we stopped trying to change his behavior and just chose to be kind. We chose not to get into debates or long talks about the “why.” Over time, his tough moments became less frequent and less hard to handle.
Through prayer and discernment, we’ve learned that perseveration isn’t something to “fix” but rather to understand that it was part of our kiddo. Just as the Bible teaches us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14), we came to see that God knew our son’s way of processing the world, before he was born.
As parents seeking God to understand our son and how to shift our parenting style, we came to appreciate the Fruit of the Spirit afresh.
We learned to share information about events closer to when they’re happening, allowing our son to better manage his anticipation, which is much like how the
Lord reveals His plans to us in His perfect timing. A light on the path that is enough for one a step at a time.
Following Jesus’s example of gentleness, we chose kindness over confrontation, because “love is patient, love is kind.”
Rather than engaging in debates, we learned (and continue to learn) to walk in the peace that surpasses understanding, trusting in God’s guidance for each situation.
For families walking this path, remember that our Father in Heaven has equipped us with everything we need to support our children with developmental disabilities. This isn’t about behavioral issues or lack of discipline—it’s about embracing how the Lord has uniquely wired certain minds to process information.
Through faith, patience, and the wisdom that comes from above, we can help our children navigate their daily lives while honoring their God-given characteristics. As parents and caregivers, we’re called to create an environment that reflects Christ’s unconditional love while helping our children to grow.
Progress often comes not from trying to change how God made our children, but from working within His design, understanding His patterns, and developing Spirit-led strategies that support both our children and families around us who also struggle.
In all things, we trust in His perfect plan, knowing that He has equipped us with everything we need for this journey of love and understanding.
Joel Sheagren will be releasing a caregiver book titled, Embracing Hope, The World’s Leading Innovative Strategies to Empower Parents Raising Neurodiverse (ASD, ADHD, FASD, Trauma) Teens, around April this year. Chapter 11 is on Perseveration.
The post Understanding Perseveration: When the Mind Gets Stuck in a Loop appeared first on Key Ministry.
Source: Special Needs Parenting- Key Ministry
Write a comment: