I am reading Sealed Orders, an autobiography by the Christian mystic and healer, Agnes Sanford. Sanford was an amazing woman of God—writer, speaker, healer, founder of a school of healing—who struggled for years with depression. She writes, “The basic trouble was that I had forgotten whence I came, and I did not know the sealed orders…
Those of us caring for children with disabilities are used to hearing people say things like, “They look fine to me.” There are, indeed, some children with disabilities that have few visible appearances that would make them stand out as special in some way. But even when there are noticeable things and people say that to…
My kids were never good sleepers. Children with high functioning autism rarely are. But last night something strange was afoot. I can sense it before it happens—before the audible shuffle and bump. My spidey senses, that with which we mothers are all graciously endowed after growing people between our innards, had me dead asleep one…
Failing my children with special needs in some important, life-altering way used to be one of the looming fears over my life. Myriad problems not easily solved triggered anxiety and misplaced guilt. The quest to be a good parent put me (and maybe puts you) on edge because the stakes are high, and it’s hard…
In the decade that I have been parenting my son, his educational and care teams have been excellent. It has always been hard work to coordinate Liam’s services and ensure that everything is as it should be, but I have had utter confidence in each team member. This year has been a bit different. Liam has…
“Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” I used to roll my eyes every time that commercial came on the television. My friends and I made it into a joke, working the reference into our conversations. Then last Thursday afternoon occurred. I am recovering from extensive surgery on both my feet. I’ve spent the…
It’s 4:54 AM and I can hear crying on the monitor. I stumble out of bed half asleep, yet used to this routine. I race down the steps and reach my son’s room. First, I take in the statistics on his monitors and then silence the alarms. The beeping alone can make my blood pressure…
I’ve never been one for New Year’s resolutions. Maybe it’s my tendency toward distractability or lack of stick-with-itness, but I’ve only ever followed through with one resolution. So this post isn’t about the shoulds and musts and resolves you need. Let’s all breathe a sigh of relief together, shall we? No, this post is about…
Thirteen years ago, I couldn’t have known all that motherhood held in store. I knew I wanted to be a mom and have a handful of kids. 3-4 would be good. God saw fit to bless our family with three wonderful boys. Benjamin came first. He was going to be William until the day he…
I get it. When you stop for a moment and say, “Take care of yourself, OK?” you’re telling me you care. And I’m so glad you stopped instead of walking by. But can I let you in on something? I’m trying to take care of myself, really I am. On days where my son’s health…