The week after my child was diagnosed with autism, I held it together for a few days and then sobbed uncontrollably while speaking to my friend/psychologist over the phone. I stood in the bathroom where I went to talk alone and gazed at my swollen eyes and red face in the mirror. I was in a panic because my child was three and had missed out on some intensive early intervention as her diagnoses was uncertain for over a year. I was afraid she was doomed to a less-than-ideal life because of the delay and wondered what my next step should be. I wondered if perhaps she would be best served by a special live-in sort of program. What my psychologist friend told me next was wise. She told me that a loving, secure family environment was just as beneficial as well-directed early intervention and that my daughter was blessed to be in our family setting. This comforted me. I had somehow forgotten how much a secure and loving home contributes to a child’s development (even without intense early intervention). I think I overlooked this because I was lucky enough to be raised in such a family.
As parents of children with a variety of challenges, we often feel the need to be super-parents. We function as case managers, advocates, researchers, special education teachers, and more. This is in addition to carrying the basic responsibilities of parenting. When I was a young mom, I sometimes felt inadequate because I could not teach everything to my daughter by myself. Professionals were helpful, but they did not have the drive and commitment to provide the best possible therapies.
