My wife and I were recently talking about the needs of caregivers like us, and it got me thinking. I once served as a volunteer missionary for nearly 2 years and as a missionary, I was willing to do whatever was asked of me. I didn’t question it and simply accomplished whatever was needed to continue God’s work. I fixed toilets, painted walls, watched kids, paid church bills—you get the picture. I often sit in church and listen to the different mission programs, especially short work trips and wonder why? Why do we raise thousands of dollars to send courageous, self-sacrificing individuals to visit far off lands in the name of Jesus when there are so many we neglect in our own communities?
Special needs caregivers are desperate for help—right here, right now, and for way less of a financial investment than it takes to send a youth group overseas. Those same volunteers willing to sacrifice the modern conveniences we are all so used to, are often unwilling to help their neighbor who may even sit next to them in church every Sunday morning. Caregivers are often part of the congregation, but you don’t see them at the special events like picnics, dinners, outings, or celebrations because our child, “the least of these,” won’t make it pleasant.
In our situation, we can’t be part of a small group or go to lunch after church with friends or attend those special events. Our silent screams don’t reach many, mostly because we have accepted that there’s not much anyone can do to help us. Or is there? I served overseas and know many others willing to potentially sacrifice their lives to spread the gospel. Why aren’t these same people helping those in the community, like caregivers, who are desperate for support? I believe it’s fear.
People see my son Lucas, and he scares them. Even my extended family is afraid of him. Afraid of what he might do or how he might react. I get it. My son, who has beaten the odds and not only survived his birth— which the majority of his doctors doubted—but he now thrives. Not like a typical person, but he thrives in his own ways. He can be aggressive, he often screams if something isn’t going his way, he may grab your arm if you try to walk away because he doesn’t want you to go, and here’s the worst part, the scariest of all, wait for it: he still wears diapers and he’s 16!
Nobody likes to change diapers at any age, but the thought of changing a 16 year old boy in diapers: is there anything worse? And as his loving, adopted father, it’s awful! It really is. I have changed a lot of babies’ diapers over the years, but for most, that’s where it ends. They grow out of that stage. For parents of children like Luke, this is something we have to live with forever.
Source: Special Needs Parenting- Key Ministry
