Lately, I have been reflecting on my own middle school and high school years at church…I was privileged to have a ton of incredible leaders over the years. The Goodwins, Dave Taylor, and the McCombs stand out to me immediately when reflecting back on those years. And chances are, if you are a Christ-follower today, you can think of some mentors you have had in your life. Perhaps these mentors were church leaders from your own middle school or high school years.
But what stands out to me, in particular, about Dave Taylor and Mr. & Mrs. Goodwin, is that they were my friends’ parents. They knew me. They knew my parents. I was friends with their sons, who were my age.
Those weren’t the only parents who were involved in my life. When our small group leaders would organize grade-specific get togethers in the summer, we would have them at the Smith home–my friend, Karlee’s parents. When we would check in on Sunday mornings, I would see Mrs. Armstrong, my friend Ally’s mom, ready to check us in, greeting us with a big smile with genuine-love for us crazy teenagers.
We were all a family. We were all in it together. And I know that for me, it made a difference having people who I knew checking me in, and being around…even if I didn’t appreciate it in the moment.
From the way this sounds, you might assume that I grew up in a small church, but that wasn’t the case. On Sunday mornings, we ran about 400-500 … in the student ministry services alone. We were a church of 5,000 at the time, and this church is currently larger than 10,000 people with multiple sites around the greater Houston area.
Yet, the size of our church was never a limiting factor. Small Groups can make a large church feel small… and so can seeing all the families you know on a regular basis. Familiarity and consistency break down the disconnection and isolation that can hinder true belonging.
With an encouragement to check out a serving opportunity coming from all our pastors right now, I have been reflecting on the reasons parents typically give me to explain why they aren’t serving here at Hope. One of the most common reasons sounds something like this, “It’s my son/daughter’s environment. I don’t want to over-step.” Or “I want their world to be truly THEIRS. I want them to be themselves.”
Maybe this is where you are. I will admit, this sounds reasonable. The heart is clearly in the right place. But what I have seen is that the Taylor kids, the Armstrong kids, the Goodwin kids, the Smith kids, and the other families who served specifically in their teenager’s environment have grown up to have a thriving faith–either holding ministry positions themselves or volunteering as adults in the churches they attend.
Josh Taylor grew up to be a worship pastor and musician who plays student ministry camps. Tim Goodwin grew up to go to seminary and is a pastor. Steven Morris [a child of another family who served in the student ministry] grew up to be the Student Pastor at our church, and is now the executive pastor over all campuses.
So, while I understand the sentiment that we want our child’s environment to be his or her own (or maybe our kid doesn’t even want us there), I want to heavily push back. I don’t have any data or research to support this. I just have story after story after story where parents stepped up and served in various areas in their own kid’s student ministry, which resulted in an authentic, thriving faith in their kids as they grew up.
Consider serving with us in any of our ministries. It may make all the difference. Be Self-Less
Contributed by Tyler Bryan, Apex MS Pastor
