It’s Father’s Day this weekend and I have a warning: I’m not going to be buying you a greeting card. I’m learning that my own words are important to you. I want my words to speak loudly to your soul—in positive ways that strengthen your spirit. I’m learning that a steady dose of personalized appreciation and encouragement from me is essential. I’m realizing that I can find more and better ways to express how much I value you. And I want to teach our kids to do that too.
I am thankful…
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You don’t try to be just like all the other dads. I’m sure it’s tempting to compare yourself with others who might seem to be doing it better. I compare myself to other moms sometimes too. If there are any comparisons, I want other people to inspire us, not drag us down.
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You are learning to be yourself. It makes my heart glad that you are uniquely you. And you are well-equipped to be the dad our children need.
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You provide for your family. Beyond the ways you contribute financially, you also fix things, help make things, play games, wrestle on the floor with the kids, share ideas and perspectives, speak reason, plan adventures and make us laugh.
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You fill a role that I cannot. While I may spearhead things like the IEP, your voice in those meetings still matters too. While I often run point on things like therapies and grocery shopping, your oversight on car, yard work and home maintenance eases my mind! I’m grateful we can keep working to optimize our personal strengths on this crazy team.
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There are many ways you make me feel supported. I promise to call those out in specific ways more often, because I want to encourage you and reassure you of my appreciation. I feel less alone on this special needs journey and more like part of a team because of you.
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You bring a sense of stability to our chaos.
I’m sorry…
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Sometimes I have fought harder for a great IEP than I have for a strong, healthy relationship with you. Our children need that. We all need that.
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Sometimes I resent the opportunities you have outside of caregiving. I don’t want you to feel guilty about that. I’m just being honest.
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I don’t always cooperate with your efforts to lead and serve our family. I want to give you space and freedom to lead from your own strengths and style. I hope you’ll cooperate with mine, too. I pray that our individual roles in this family will not be in competition, but complementary.
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For those times when my actions and words—or lack of words—have discouraged you.
Please forgive me.
Source: Special Needs Parenting- Key Ministry
