Most men enjoy elements of competition in sports, education or career pursuits. And in the case of men who become a dad of a child with special needs, well, they quickly learn that their son or daughter isn’t going to perform, work, think, or be like other children.
My husband Joe tells of how he set up Joey’s crib the day he brought us both home from the hospital:
“I was excited to have a first born son (Joey is nearly 39 now). At the hospital, we dressed Joey in an Ohio State sleeper (Joe graduated Dental School from THE OSU). I had Joey’s crib ready with some autographed Cleveland Indians baseballs, a signed football, and the dreams of hoping to coach his little league games and be on the sidelines cheering for him as he got older. I had the future planned in my mind!”
But like all special needs parents, we soon learned that when our kids aren’t hitting developmental milestones, the doctors who say, “He’ll catch up” don’t really mean, “He’ll be hitting home runs like you’re thinking.” Yes, life begins to look different, and while we can still make sports analogies, the way it plays out is very different than expected. Instead of being in the sports arena with your child, Dad will be called to be a good sport in life!
Joe has been in the fatherhood arena for nearly 39 years. There have been a lot of challenges, and we’d both be the first to say if someone told us we’d be doing this for 39 years, we wouldn’t believe we could do it. But God has given us what we’ve asked for. Here are three ways that God has helped us be good sports:
FOCUS: A point of concentration; clear perception or understanding
In sports: Focus on the ball. Keep your eye on the ball. Concentrate.
As a special needs dad, focus looks less like sports, and more like this:
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Focus on what your child can do. Joey’s reactions are too slow for sports play, but Joe and Joey can beat the best of them at video games. In fact, when Joey beat one of his cousins who was in medical school, the people in the stands were in an uproar. Okay, it was just in our family room, but that counts!
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Focus on what brings your child enjoyment. It might not even be sports, but whatever it is, take advantage of focusing on that child and what they are focused on. Your participation will likely need a lot of modification, but focus on it with your child.
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Focus on your heart: be open to what God is having you learn through this special needs journey. Check out Unexpected Journey; When Special Needs Change Our Course by Dr. Joe and Cindi Ferrini and this gift of a special needs child.
Source: Special Needs Parenting- Key Ministry
